The beginning.
What is CRLA?
The Safe Project is an organization that sheds light on addiction and recovery in the United States. They work with all ages, genders, ethnicities, and backgrounds to share stories and overcome the battle. Lastly, they work with a collaborative and innovative community that works to end the opioid epidemic with University Campuses all over the United States.
My time in San fransisco
Photos taken by CRLA members
Day 1: San FRANCISCO
On the flight to San Francisco, I slept a lot. But when I woke up, I was thinking of all the things to expect during this retreat. The last retreat in DC has brought me new inspiration, ideas, and potential creations with all of the information that was provided, so I was super excited for this change in scenery and a new open perspective.
Getting there, I was so excited about the warm weather and the clear air considering it was stinky and yellow back in New Jersey. As I wait for the last shuttle, I meet up with my CRLA leader Nikki Singleton. It was great seeing her again and talking about the new blessings and changes that brought to her life like her engagement. I also shared my recent situation with her. Her words brought me new guidance and inspiration on how to continue to fight for my life.
After an hour, we finally met up with the rest of the CRLA members and made our way to Point Bonita YMCA. It was so breathtaking. I was shocked that a place in the United States could look like that. I reunited with some of the friends I made from the DC trip and it was like nothing changed but we all looked different (In a good way lol). I and a good portion of the CRLA walked down to the beach. The stirs were long but the view going down was something I had never seen in my life. I embraced that good things were coming during that walk and I appreciated where I was at that very moment.
S'mores & Fun
Evening Hours
After exploring with the group and friends, as a whole organization, we all made s'mores and talked about our life. I caught up with the group while making a sweet dessert. It was an experience to be out in nature again with people like-minded. During this, I met a new friend and her name is Blake. She is a sweet and down-to-earth person. I was so grateful that I met and hang out with her during our trip. I put myself out there and made a whole new friend. I was happy to be back with the group again.
That night, we had an all-recovery meeting Inside. I learned that after not being together for so long, we were all still connected through our stories and our experiences from being so far away for that amount of time. We went around sharing the hardships and battles that we have been experiencing. Hearing everyone's raw stories like that created a deep sense of belonging that I had never felt with any other group. I liked how everyone could share anything major or something minor. It was no level and we all were just ourselves.
During the DC trip and hearing people's battles, I was afraid to express my concerns. But during my trip to San Fransisco, I felt more comfortable with the people I was around because I previously met a lot of them. So I talked about my own life regarding being independent and living on my own. It was really hard to come to terms with how I was feeling. That night was the first time I ever cried in the form of a big group like that. It was freeing and terrifying But I'm so happy I did it because it made me so much stronger. I am so grateful for that night.
Late night Talk
After sharing my experience with the group, I was ready to sleep. My roommate, Brittany, and I talked for a while because I expressed my family situation and she had gone through the same thing. It was very comforting to hear everything about your internal feelings all in one conversation. I truly appreciated Brittany for talking to me about her perspective and advice on what to do next. It made me super happy to hear that someone that has made it through a dark point in their life and reached the level of victory. I knew that I am going to be okay & I'm strong enough to keep pushing towards my goals with or without anyone in my life. I gave her a huge hug that night and I thanked her for listening and sharing her own story.
Some favorite Photos I took from the Retreat
Day two was probably the best part about my trip. I woke up for breakfast and ate. The food was really good I couldn't get enough of the fruit lol. I ended up talking to another new friend, Jason Chino who has also faced a lot of shortcomings during this year battling hospitalization, memory loss, family battles, and school. His story has shown me that you can over came anything you put your mind to. He is the definition of someone who has survived the worst possible situation and has created such inspiration because of it. The way he shares his story to the world is what makes me inspired the most. I will never forget him and the story he shared.
We all then went around in a huge circle to share our recovery projects that was connected to the school we went to. I was nervous to present mine because most of my project was still getting off the ground. Hearing each project made me realize everyone has experienced hardships through it. I was so nervous to share my projects details and what I couldn't even create yet. I shared how there was so many obstacles I faced around my project but the next steps I will take to get it off the ground for next year. I learned that I still have the time and opportunity to share my project with the world and even if I took minor baby steps to get there, my project is just as special as everyone else's.
Breakout session: -
Reflections on Holding on and Letting Go.
During the second day, there were group activities during the trip. I decided to go to the reflections on holding on and letting go of places, values, objects, memories, and people in your life with Dylan. This activity changed my life forever. We had to write down all of the people, memories, objects, and places that meant the most in our life. Next, we had to start letting it go as if we would never see them or remember them again. This urged me to let go of past situations that I thought meant the most to me. I had the realization that these people and places I can love but I can ultimately love them from afar. I let go of memories that are meaningful to me but I know that it will always hold a special place in my heart.
Doing this activity also showed me how okay I am with being alone. And as long as you still have love, you can conquer anything you want out of this life. We reflected for 30 minutes on our decisions on why we let go of certain ones sooner than later and hearing everyone's decisions made me sad but very happy that they get to have some closure around it. Lastly, we all ended up having one card and talked about this card and why we would keep this one last. I choose love because, at the end of the day, love will get you far greater than life than anything temporary that is on this earth. I will forever love whatever truly values and makes me happy. It was sad but I needed to do it for myself and my future self.
Into The City.
After all the breakout sessions were done, I ended up going to the city with my friends Jocelin, Blake, and Alana. We ended up going to go to Pete's coffee for Blake and Alana. I tried it and it was really good. I'm not a coffee fan but, I would try it again. We all walked around the city for a short amount of time and Alana ended up going shopping to get a sweater and we roamed around the store for a while. I ended up going to a gift shop for my boyfriend's mom to get her a key chain. She ended up loving it so much. Lastly, we went to In & Out Burgers. I enjoyed going there and their milkshake was very good. It was very crowded and the line was super long due to it being a dinner rush. What made this trip memorable was Jocelin and Alana buying two homeless people their lunch. It made me so happy and I was grateful that I'm around people who want to give back and help anyone who needs it. We ended up going back to point san Bonita before it turned dark. I enjoyed my time and I made memories with people I will never forget.
Reflection
Due to my flight circumstances, I had to be the first one to leave point san Bonita. I was sad that I couldn't spend the day with the whole group and do fun activities. I was so sad that I had to go but I knew that the things that I learned that weekend, I will forever keep with me. I said my last-minute goodbyes and let people sign my yearbook. But I was very satisfied with my trip. I think that I needed to vent about my issues and I have figured out a good solution to healing from it. I was so grateful for how open and understanding everyone was on the trip. I ended up talking to my Lyft driver about my experience at the CRLA and what I learned he was so interested and also told me about his life and his kids. I was so grateful for the trip and going to the airport created a nostalgic feeling like I am never going to forget each conversation that I have ever had with people I created new connections with.
Things I learned From CRLA
01.
Be Bold.
I learned to broadcast my voice more than I have ever done throughout my whole year. I also learned to share my story with people who did not know me. Being bold created a voice for myself I didn't know that I had. I learned to share my voice even if one person listens and understands it.
02.
Vunerability is not a Weakness.
Learning to be vulnerable to the people around you can open so many doors and new friendships in your life. CRLA has taught me that there is strength in vulnerability and opening up doesn't just make yourself feel better but, create a safer space to talk about anything on one's mind.
03.
Lean on the people around you.
The people around you are there for you in the most unexpected ways. On the retreat getting one hug, one ear, and another person's opinion on your situation means more than you know. I learned if you lean on those around you, not only will you learn from them, but you'll open new doors for yourself.
04.
The only way out is through.
Feel your feelings. Experience the pain, the love, and the emotion that comes with life. This will keep you propelling forward. I learned that if I bottle and hold my feelings in I'm just prolonging my hurt and pain. So the only way to feel better. To get clarity is to feel every emotion you come into contact with even if you feel uncomfortable.
Ending thoughts
This experience I will forever keep with me. The people, the lessons, and the memories won't ever be forgotten. I am so grateful to be able to even write and capture photos for this mini project I created. I want to thank Sydney for the support, my working group leaders and everyone I got to have a conversation with that shared their piece of feeling/ perspective. Thank you for reading. xoxoxox
Best,
Monique Parker
